More Income for More Inches

Posted on 08 May 2015

Ah, the joys of being tall. Not only can our long arms more easily reach drive-thru ATMs, but we also earn more money to put in the bank.

When it’s raining money, the dollar droplets hit tall people first. A study has shown, once and for all, that our height allows us to earn more. We make it rain according to recent research done by Ohio State University that said tall people deserve to get paid more.

The so-called “height premium” means that the difference between an extra inch of tallness translates to hundreds of dollars per year. And it’s not just because people unconsciously admire our super stature. Apparently, it’s because we’re actually more intelligent. Maybe it’s the air up here. Oh, actually it’s definitely because we filled juice boxes with Miracle-Gro as kids. Either way, victory has a height preference.

This doesn’t mean that there aren’t shorties crushing it out there in the corporate world too.

Daniel Freeman, professor of clinical psychology at Oxford University notes that, “If you look across large samples of people, you will find an association of height with many different markers of success. It’s important to say that it’s only a small association.”

Just come right out and say it. Tall people win. Whether it’s by one inch or many inches, we win.

Even older studies like the one done in 2006 by Princeton economists proves tall wins. That study noted that taller children actually outperformed their short peers on cognitive tests. Scantrons don’t favor the short.

Presidents are smart right? Well, the average height of all US presidents is 6 feet! Can you imagine how sharp G. Washington would’ve looked in a Tallboys charcoal grey v-neck? That would’ve made crossing the Delaware River a fashion statement as well as, you now, politically important.

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