5 Beachgoers You'll Run Into and Away From
Posted on 11 July 2015
Beach fashion pretty much requires that all normal dress codes are shredded, burned, and very much forgotten. When you’re playing in the sand, everything goes and everything shows. So throw out those shorts, it’s time to thong it up (guys and girls). Might want to dab a little sunscreen on those milky white winter thighs though. Otherwise, you’ll be walking to the sandbar on pair of hot dogs.
There are a several types of fashion friendlies you’ll find on the beach. Not everyone can look as perfect as Tallboys.
1. Muscle beachers
Favorite beach activity: Flexing really, really hard.
Tan level: Don't care. As long as I'm oiled up.
Swimwear: Weightlifting belt.
2. Selfie stick shore walkers
Favorite beach activity: Capturing every grain of sand on camera for my followers.
Tan level: Darker than my Space Gray iPhone 6 Plus.
Swimwear: Sunglasses ... followers can't see me from the neck down.
3. Sandcastle geniuses
Favorite beach activity: Being an inspiration to every 5-year-old with a plastic red pail and shovel.
Tan level: Sandy.
Swimwear: I look homeless.
4. Surfer dudes and dudets
Favorite beach activity: Going tubular, man.
Tan level: My full body spandex suit acts as SPF 1,000,000.
Swimwear: I go au naturel under the suit ... just like Batman.
5. Burn and turners
Favorite beach activity: Not missing a spot.
Tan level: Crispy like a burnt potato chip.
Swimwear: Nothing so I don't miss a spot.